The Great Escape!
by Hika-BOOO the Awesome
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke captured Haruno Sakura. Why? He loved her. That's the simple reason. Still not clear enough? He's obsessed with her! But guess what? She escaped. Crack-fic. One-shot. OOC/AU.


**DISCLAIMER**! _Me no own Naruto. If I did, it would be full of comedy and mushy, fluffy, non-shounen romance. (Which translate to: Naruto won't be Naruto. -son-sob-)_

_Teehee! I re-edited it! :D I may not be a significant edit, but still, better. (I should think :S)_

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Haruno Sakura is a girl with pink hair and green eyes. She is also admirable, amiable, courteous and downright nice. Another noticeable trait of hers is that she's stubborn, don't forget that. She's pretty much called an angel because of her nice personality and very unique beauty. And surprisingly, she also caught the eye of a certain raven-haired, cold as ice, stubborn villain. She loves baking, drawing and most things a person like herself would do. Oh! And her big brother, Sasori.

In case you didn't catch who the certain raven-haired, cold as ice, stubborn villain is, it's the one and only_ Uchiha Sasuke_. He's the one of the proud owners of the Sharingan eye, which is very dangerous and _lethal_. Those who were caught in it's glare were put into a mental hospital! But it usually depends on the person, if the person is easily scared or freaked out or any other similars synonym, then it's the _Mental Hospital_ (yes, with capital letters and _italics_!) for those poor, unfortunate souls.

But unknown to other people, he loves (But it's also known as obsession, or 'over-protective-ness') He follows her everywhere, knows everything about her and stuff about her (like papparazzi!) And no, he denies the fact that he does stalk her. Uchihas do _not_ stalk. Especially evil Uchiha masterminds , like Sasuke. Uchihas call it '_finding information_' not stalking. ("Mhmm, and that's not stalking," says the author.)

So, one day, in a spur of the moment, he thought up of an awesome-ness filled idea. He kidnapped her. He 'effin kidnapped her. While she was sleeping and frolicking away in Dreamland, he crept in her house. Hey, he knew there were keys under the doormat! He stalked- ahem, found out information about her remember? He quietly snuck in and locked the door. Oh, and to be nice, he even wrote a note to her beloved brother Sasori:

_Dear beloved brother-in-law,_

_I stole your beloved little baby sister away. I hope you're happy! By the way, if you're mad, let it all out on Itachi (He gave me the idea) And, no, I won't be giving her anytime sooner, because we're getting married and we'll be on a honeymoon and then we'll have a kid and you will get a nephew or niece. Now, doesn't that sound nice?_

_- Kidnapper & lover of your Sakura. :)_

_P.S: In case you don't know whom is writing this, it's Uchiha Sasuke, your future brother-in-law._

After writing that, Sasuke was indeed feeling very proud. But since when Uchihas weren't proud anyway? They're always proud. It's an Uchiha fact. Don't know it? Look it up in the book of '_Uchiha's Fact Book_' and look in the personality section. You'll see. Okay, back to the story. Since Sakura was a deep sleeper, it's as easy as pie. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. He lifted her up from the bed and carried her bridal style and brought her to his beautiful and awaiting car.

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_Hours later, in Sasuke's mansion_

Sakura woke up, feeling ever so refreshed and fully charged, and happy that the alarm clock didn't ring just now. Besides, today was Saturday! A day off! Sakura was inwardly cheering. But suddenly, she looked around. Lying on her back, she didn't know the ceiling above her. Strangely, this ceiling had…dark colours. But hers was light colours. Soft colours! She felt someone shifted beside her. She stiffened. She couldn't be in her brother's room right? Yeah, for now, until the '_Mystery of Whose Room This Is_' is solved, her resolve was to call it Sasori's room. The hand around her waist hugged her tighter.

"Sasori-nii?" She shifted to her side facing to the person next to her. Her eyes widened. "Who the heck are you?" Sakura slightly smacked and pounded on his chest. Suddenly she felt both his hands embrace her. And it was then...she saw his hair. It was put up in a _chicken-butt style_. "Yo, chicken-butt! Let me go!" Sasuke cracked an eye open.

"Go to sleep." The deep, masculine, lazy, sleepy, husky, dreamy voice murmured out.

Sakura tried struggled out of his embrace. But was hugged again tightly and brought down to the soft, fluffy bed. Again. "Sleep."

Sakura huffed, "And why should I?" and then Sakura was pinned down and she said was, "Who are you?"

Sasuke's bangs covered his eyes. And when they revealed his face, big black orbs with a pout was on his face. He let out a whimper. And Sakura swore she saw some sad puppy ears with a tail too! Sakura squealed. "Awww, you're too cute!" and hugged him. Sakura was petting him and cooing at him. Sasuke smirked.

'_They _always_ fall for that._'

Sakura snapped back while petting Sasuke's head. Suddenly, Sasuke got hit on the head, "Hey! What was that for?" Sakura continued hitting him. Sasuke grabbed her hands. "Hey, stop that."

Sakura glared at him, "Who are you?" Sasuke smirked. Sakura's spine chilled as a thought flew past her pink head. 'Chicken-butt creeps me out. A lot.'

"Sakura-dear, I'm your future-husband, Uchiha Sasuke!"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, she swore she saw sparkles and trumpets being blown to form a fanfare, as the background was elegant. "What?" she screeched, "I never did once say 'I will marry you', did I?" Sakura yelled, "Nor did you even propose me! I only met you today! I swear, what happened to guys these days?"

It was Sasuke's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" Sakura took a deep breath, "First, I saw a guy read magazines!"

Sasuke sweatdropped. "What's wrong with that?"

Sakura whispered in a hushed tone, "He was reading a magazine that girls read! (A/N: Any guys reading this and did that once, no offence!)"

Sasuke sweatdropped once again, "You know, it might just be a tomboy girl who wanted to be more girly."

Sakura paused. A long time. Sasuke waved his hand in her face. Sakura snapped back to earth. "You're right," Sakura let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Sasuke!"

"What's my reward?" One could practically hear the mocking tone and smirk he hd.

Sakura smiled innocently (Well, seemingly innocent). "You don't need one," and Sakura stuck out her tongue.

Sasuke pouted. Suddenly his watch beeped. "Oh, I should get going now. I need to plan a new evil plan!" and let out an evil laugh and stood up.

As he touched the handle door, Sakura spoke up in a curious voice, "Eh? What? You're a villain?"

Sasuke looked back and smirked, "Hn, do I look like a prince?"

Sakura shook her head vigorously. "Uchiha Sasuke. Ring a bell?"

Sakura paused. Suddenly her eye widened, "You're that guy? Who has the Sharingan?"

Sasuke smirked , "Yeah, I believe that's me," Sakura's eyes widened more, "but, don't worry, I won't hurt you." And with that, he left the room with a swish of the clothes he wore.

'_Oh gosh, I need to get out! And tell the police_!' Sakura saw a window and looked out. The surroundings were beautiful. As if, it wasn't Earth. But a whole new world. Sakura snapped out of her reverie. Sakura's eye widened. '_Gah, surrounding this is a forest, which is surrounded by a huge lake which is surrounded by greater tropical rainforest_!_ Escaping always seem so easy on TVs,_' Sakura walked to the door and tried to turn the knob. It gave a '_click'_ sound and the door slightly creaked opened. Sakura silently cheered, '_Good!_' and quietly crept out of the room. She walked swiftly and silently as if she was a ninja (ironically) Throughout the escape, she didn't see anyone. '_Maybe he works at another place? Maybe he works alone_?' Sakura shrugged at those questions she asked herself.

Sakura passed through dark halls, doors and walked down stairs. After much walking, she saw a big door. She walked quietly to it and pressed her ear against it. On the other side, it seems as if it was forest. Sakura opened the door. But before she even saw a single tree or even a single breeze of air against her face, the alarm was blaring inside her ears.

Hearing the alarm, Sasuke quickly took out his Sakura-detector. Hey, it's what he use to detect Sakura when she's out from his sight. And he saw a red dot moving fast across the screen. "Tsk! Sakura!" and he ran after her.

Sakura ran out as soon as she heard the alarms. '_Aw, I didn't have time to say goodbye. Ugh, what do I care. More importantly, I didn't get to see those pretty flowers I spotted!_'

Sasuke, being the taller and more athletic of the two, was able to catch up to Sakura. But she was 100 meters away from her at the moment. Minute by minute, Sasuke was catching up to Sakura. He called out her name.

"SAKURA!" Sasuke called out. Sakura looked back, even though she knew whose voice is that. '_Darn it…_' Sakura looked back and stuck her tongue and wink, running faster. Sasuke smirked, '_So she wants to play the Cat and mouse game, huh? Then let the games begin._'

Sakura kept on running forward. And did I tell you, that the forest was full of holes that lead straight to the lake? No? But you read it right? So, Sakura was running and sprinting, panting hard when suddenly she felt herself step onto something weak and fragile. Well, with her weight, it collapse and brought Sakura with it.

Sasuke, who saw it, cried out Sakura's name, fearing she might get injured. Sasuke jumped into the hole and yelled, "Sakura!" of course, there was no reply, just a scream.

Sakura screamed down the hole, though it should be called a slide, but let's just stick to hole okay? So, Sakura screamed down the hole and when Sasuke called her, she didn't hear him for all the screaming was occupying the hole. She didn't even notice the white light at the end. So, she ended up flying, with no wings. And also falling down at a fast rate. And she screamed even more.

Sasuke, noticing the sound of the scream was louder now, got more panicky. '_Great, the lake! How could I have forgotten. Ugh, I hope she doesn't drown... Sakura, I'm coming!'_ Suddenly, he was also flying in the air, like the Superman he was (ironically, since he's the 'baddie' here) and falling. He looked down and saw Sakura.

Sakura was engulfed into the water, and was feeling sore now. The ride was bumpy after all, with all those thick roots and stones and rocks. She burst out of the water and gulped down gallons and gallons of fresh oxygen and started swimming. As a fast swimmer, she was able to get to shore quickly. She took deep breaths as she looked behind her and Sasuke was swimming rapidly to her.

Sasuke, being a faster swimmer, was able to get to shore faster than her. But unfortunately, Sakura was already off by the time he got to shore. Sasuke got impatient and ran after her.

Sakura looked back and saw nothing. But heavy footsteps and someone calling out to her, confirmed the fact Sasuke was still behind her. And then she was surrounded by tall trees. She looked and found a tree. She quickly climbed up the tree. '_I hope he doesn't see me…_'

Sasuke came, panting hard, he looked around. 'Where is she?' Sasuke took his Sakura-detector and was that Sakura was on a high branch on the top of a tall tree. And he looked at the tree. He inwardly smirked, '_It seems it will be a rough time down. Hn, I guess I'll have to turn on my actor side now. After all, Uchihas are perfect at everything!_' He put on a frown and yelled out, "Stupid detector!" and apparently, 'stomped' back to his mansion.

Sakura saw he walked back to the distance and didn't bother to check if he was far away. She went down the side where she was covered if Sasuke came back. Unfortunately, she won't be able to see Sasuke also. But she didn't care. She'd be free of crazy, evil, obsessive stalkers! She inwardlycheered and held a party.

As Sakura was having a rough time down, she didn't notice Sasuke coming back. She wasn't able to, remember? So Sasuke quietly walked towards, only walking on damp soil. He waited on the opposite she was going down.

Sakura's feet touched the ground. She turned around and said, "Free again! To be able to smell the fresh air, all to myself!" and suddenly she felt hand wrapping around her shoulders and waist.

"What do you mean by free, exactly?" Sasuke whispered into her ear.

Sakura gulped and shuddered in fear, as she let out a squeak. "S-Sasuke?"

To be with her, he was feeling _blissful_. He wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Hey, princess, I guess, you're captured _again, _hmm?" he whispered hotly into her ear.

Sakura blushed. "S-Sasuke! L-Let g-go!" Just by looking at her, made Sasuke lovesick and obsessive.

"You know," Sakura blushed more, "looking at you blushing is cute. Hearing you stutter is also cute," Sakura blushed more. "But both, is just _too_ cute!" he squeezed her as he hugged her and rubbed his cheeks against hers.

Sakura shrieked, "Gah, let go of me!" she wiggled out and ran away once again.

Sasuke looked at her and started chasing her again. "Hey, Sakura! Wait up!" and started chasing her.

Sakura soon was in a city she recognized. '_Konoha_!' and she went to look for help. At that time, Sasori, with the help of Akatsuki and Sakura's friends, were looking for Sakura. Gaara happened to be in the area with Sasori, Deidara and Naruto.

"Sakura!" All heads turn to Gaara, even Sakura's.

"Gaara!" and she looked around, "Dei-kun, Naruto!" She ran to Sasori and gave him a hug , "Saso-nii!"

"Sakura-chan!" both blondes shouted and joined the hug. Gaara, not wanting to be felt left out, also joined in. And then Naruto shouted into his walkie-talkie, "Hey guys! We found Sakura! Meet us near the forest area. West Konoha!" and 'roger', 'will do' and anything similar were heard over the walkie-talkies.

Everyone appeared at the same time. "SAKURA!" Ino hugged her. After hugging her, she pinched Sakura's cheeks. "Where have you been?"

Sakura ripped Ino's hand of her cheeks. "Ow, Ino, that hurts. I know you miss me, but that hurts! And, I was kidnapped!"

Hinata and Tenten came and hugged her. Temari said, "We were all so worried over there! Especially Sasori, Gaara, Sai and Akatsuki!" Temari winked.

Sakura just grinned. "Sorry to have made you guys so worried."

Suddenly, Sasuke appeared from the bushes and grabbed Sakura like a potato sack. "Hey, let me go!" Sakura yelled.

Sasori threatened the younger Uchiha, "Let her go, or else!"

Sasuke smirked, "Or what?"

Itachi stepped out, "Foolish little brother. You. Let. Her. Go."

Sasuke dropped Sakura, like a potato sack. "Ouch! Sasuke, you know I hate you right?"

Sasuke paid no attention. "Oh, now you ignore me. You didn't ignore me earlier! I hate you!" Still no response.

"What are you doing here, little brother?" Itachi gave a slightly curious and amused look at Sasuke.

Sasuke glared , "I was just taking her ba- _ACK_!" and Sasuke got piled on by a bunch of guys. Starting with Akatsuki, then Naruto, Sai, Kiba, Shino and his bugs, Sasori and Deidara. Oh, and Chouji wanted to also be counted in. Before they could protest, they were squashed. Lee was lucky. He was training with Gai-sensei.

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~Somewhere in Konoha Park~

"Achoo!" Lee sneezed.

"You aren't getting a cold, Lee?" Gai-sensei's booming voice asked, "That wouldn't be youthful."

"Nope, I'm sure I'm not, Gai-sensei."

"Someone must be talking about you!" he gave Lee a good guy pose, "How very youthful of them!"

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The police was soon called. Sasuke was arrested and is in prison. But since Sakura was nice enough, she visited him. But you see, Sasuke's evilness slightly rubbed off on her. And guess what? Sakura visited and taunted him. Sasuke got only more amused every minute he saw her taunt him. Sakura stuck out her tongue, "Sasuke-kun! Lookie here! I'm here and you're there! You can't touch me!" Suddenly, a guard was passing there. Sasuke pickpocketed the prison keys from him. He waited for the guard to be long gone and waited for Sakura's back to turn away from him.

Sakura was doing her happy dance, so her eyes were closed and was blind from the world.

He opened the lock and crept behind Sakura. Sakura turned around when she heard some clinking and clicking and her eyes widened. "He's gone! He was there a second ago! He must be a ghost!" she gasped as when she felt arms wrap around her shoulders and a chuckle echo in her ears.

"And you were saying?" Sasuke whispered into her ears.

"You didn't hear anything, Sasuke!"

Sasuke gave her a pout, "What? No more '-_kun_'?"

Sakura wriggled out of his grip, "I'm so sorry, Sasuke! I'm so sorry! Forgive me!"

Sasuke smirked, "No, I won't," and then suddenly the other criminals all let out evil laughs. Sasuke smirked, the criminal crowd went silent, "Instead, I will do this, as revenge," with that, Sasuke tickled her. Sakura, being a ticklish person, begged Sasuke to stop. Some of the criminals went crazy, some when suicidal and some were happy and laughing.

"NOO! MY EYESS! STOP THAT!"

"WHERE'S THE TORTURING?"

"HELP ME! UCHIHA SASUKE'S NOT TORTURING HER!"

"WHOO! YOU GO UCHIHA!"

"GREAT CATCH THERE!"

"Well, at least she's begging for the torture to stop."

The others looked weirdly at him. That guy just shrugged, "What?"

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I re-edited it! :D

FINALLY! (Gahh, I was horrified at how some parts were SO OFF! : )

I was planning to re-edit this stuff ages ago, but, yeah :)

Hope you enjoyed it! :D


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